I’m going to revisit this topic repeatedly. When someone asks me if I am happy, I am left flummoxed. It’s such a complicated question that can’t be answered with a yes or no. For me, it’s usually a qualified answer as well. I am happy right now but yesterday, oh boy, I’ll tell you about yesterday….
We tend to feel that when things go our way, we’re happy. When we buy that new car, that new house in the neighborhood, that new dress, when we get that promotion we’ve been working so hard towards, we have that sense of accomplishment and the feelings of elation that we did what we sought to do.
But how long do those feelings of happiness last before we start looking towards something new and different?
Happiness is feeling content with what we have and not craving for more. For most of us, it’s a temporary state of being before we become dissatisfied and start feeling like something is missing.
Why should there be a void? Why do those feelings of contentment leave us?
I was feeling happy being here in this cafe, being in this lovely garden surrounded by people speaking in pleasant tones enjoying their friends, family, good food. With music that seemed to waft overhead as though dancing slowly. I felt safe and secure and settled.
But for someone who doesn’t like coffee, they would have thought my latte was too bitter. For someone who enjoys frugality, my $5 coffee would have been overpriced. For someone who was wearing a t-shirt and from Florida, sitting outside in 55 degree temperature would have been too uncomfortable. We alone decide how we will respond to our circumstances and sometimes, most times, it’s not even a fully conscious decision. We may be reacting subconsciously based on our conditioning from past experiences with our family, friends, parents, coworkers, strangers, marketing and advertisements
Happiness is within our control. Being content with what we have is within our control. It’s about attitude and expectation and managing both.