It’s 5 days before Halloween and all across the neighborhood, houses and yards are decked with ghouls, witches, frightful creatures, faux cemeteries. It seems like a holiday that adults can express their creativity and participate as adults without guilt.

Being petite in stature and imbued with a voice that is at once youthful and chirpy at times, I went trick-or-treating into my early twenties. I loved the candy and knowing which houses gave out the best ones.The adults who opened the door sometimes wondered aloud how old I was and when that happened, I felt a little guilty but that guilt immediately dissolved the moment I got home. I loved dumping my bag onto the carpet and organizing them and counting the bounty afterwards.

Life was uncomplicated then. In fact, it seemed so uncomplicated four months ago!

Nowadays, I fit my walks in at night after most households are sound asleep. The streets are quiet and cars are infrequent and I walk in the middle of the road, holding court to both sides. I have my favorite houses that I visit along the walk. I feel a bit like a rebel, being out while everyone else is responsibly in their beds in their darkened homes.

It’s a time for myself, when I can be alone and no one can call for me and no one can interrupt my thoughts. I begin my day in sitting meditation and I end my day in walking meditation. During the day, when I’m running around trying to multi-task and end up feeling like I only succeeded at failing those tasks, I look forward to my evening walks. I’m so grateful that mom’s neighborhood is safe so that I can walk in peace. I could never do this in Oakland. Taking preventative measures to ensure personal safety is one of the drawbacks of living in urban areas. It doesn’t have to be Halloween for Oakland to be a scary place.