Most of us who venture into online dating have good intentions. We want to meet people who are available. Unlike in the real world, you may chat with someone in line at the cafe who you think is adorable only to find out that they’re married. At least in the online world, those who are here are open to meeting new people. Whether they are honest is another matter.
The online forum is unfortunately increasingly a place for nefarious people to prey upon the lonely and the emotionally vulnerable folks. Online, anyone can be anyone they profess to be. Photos can be plucked from the internet of real people to disguise their identity. A few years ago, I was the subject of an internet dating scam. He was based overseas so we never met. His profile was intriguing enough to warrant an ongoing and light banter. His overt affection was a little weird given we never met nor never talked on the phone. His extravagant bouquet of roses on Valentines gave me so many red flags, it might as well called the fire department. It all culminated in a ridiculous story of his office being raided by the government and his plea for help in the form of cash. Even then I felt compelled to be polite about ending our online exchange. As Charlie Brown would say, “good grief”. Looking back, I wonder why they and I continued our chat for so long several months. I must of been hopeful and/or bored out of my mind.
Recently in this go around of online dating, I came across a profile that gave me a start. He seemed too good looking to be real, or at least be real on an online dating site. How can someone so handsome be on this online dating site? (Not sure if this is a reflection on my own self image). We went offline to continue on Whatsapp and eventually met via video chat. Our chat was so brief that it made me think that was the end until he texted me within minutes of hanging up. He then revealed some traumatic history with his ex-wife, an exchange that seemed too intimate given we were still only in the early stages of getting to know one another. His subsequent assurance that I could share my own emotional experiences seemed intended to secure a quick trauma bond. A hook that I deflected. HIs affectionate addresses were odd since again we barely knew each other. Too quick and too soon. Love bombing on a softer scale. My Spidey feelers were up. He claimed to be a shareholder of some semi-conductors company, and he supposedly flew to Miami in the middle of the night in a business private plane. Yet he mentioned he was staying at the Marriott Four Points. Frugal or fake? Sooo fake. Is this a real fairy tale or a fairy nightmare? Fairy nightmare. A few more text exchanges as I tried to uncover additional inconsistencies made me realize what a waste of time it all was even as an entertaining mystery and when I stopped texting, the whole thing faded away. I’m assuming they went back to the app to find more unsuspecting ladies.
How does one keep their faith in all this? Next posting, I’ll delve deeper into the endgame. Why we keep trying and keep hoping…