My sister asked me today if I had ever thought about the meaning of life.

Ever, hardly. Always, definitely. Except I didn’t think about THE meaning of life. I don’t think there is any one particular or primary meaning that is the same in everyone’s life. I don’t even know if I believe that there is an intrinsic meaning in life. Life just is.

And for someone without faith in a higher power or belief in karma, I imagine they would think that the meaning of life to be pretty empty. Life would be very shallow, if we believed that nothing we do matters in the end. But still, I don’t think that’s a very good reason for people to behave badly. Even if we didn’t think there was more to the end of life, we still should behave ethically while we’re alive. Frankly, it just makes more sense to be kinder and more pleasant. Life feels so much better and easier when we get along with one another.

The more complicated question my sister could have asked is whether we have meaning in our lives.

And where do we get meaning in our lives? Simply by living with morality and virtue. On second thought, it is simple but not easily achievable. What we do, how we behave, and how we make an impact is where we gain meaning in our lives. This meaning may differ by individual. If we can make someone else’s life a little more pleasant, it also makes our own lives a little more pleasant. Conversely, could I have a lavish 5 course meal as I was sitting next to a homeless man? Not in good conscience. But put him around the corner and leave me in a decadent dining room and I could probably be able to forget about him for the next two hours. It’s so easy to placate ourselves by living in a fantasy where we believe that what we do does not bear any weight on another. We erect mental and emotional walls to create barriers so that we feel the distance, so that we feel separate from others. Perhaps we do this so we don’t have to feel responsible for our neighbors, our acquaintances, the strangers out in the world. We think we don’t have time for it, we’re just too busy with the mundane needs of our own life. Life seems challenging enough when we’re only focused on ourselves and on our immediate sphere of influence of friends and family. And so we find ways to ignore the suffering of others, of those we knew less well, of those we didn’t know at all.

So how can I indulge in a 5 course meal while the other man goes hungry? I could convince myself that I deserve to be a little indulgent because my past actions have lead me to where I am today. I could even convince myself that I “earned” and “deserved” that meal for the good I’ve done in my life (not that I’m keeping a ledger or anything). We’re living out the fruition of karma but who can guarantee if I would never be in his shoes some day? If not in this life but in the subsequent? It’s a rhetorical question unless we undoubtedly know our actions from past lives and we never make another misstep again.

When we become open to feeling other’s suffering, we realize how blessed we are with what we do have. It doesn’t matter how much we feel like we’re suffering, there’s always someone less fortunate than ourselves. Someone’s definition of wealthy could be another’s definition for middle class. Someone’s version of hell, could be someone else’s salvation. It’s all relative based on our point of reference. But by changing our frame of reference, we begin to see life a little differently and we start doing life differently. We can start by doing something small. We give a gift to everyone we meet. We surprise someone who looks grumpy with a smile. We’re genuine in whatever we say, in whatever we do. We say what we mean, courageously. We listen, deeply. These are simple acts but are not always easy to execute. In this way, we begin to see that each one of us can bring value to the world. We’re not all here to start a revolution, be a pioneer, start a trend, but what we can do, we should do well and with enthusiasm. Leave the world a better place or leave it at least having tried our best.